PHOTO PROMPT © JS Brand
Viggo awoke to the aroma of spiced tea. Smiling sleepily, he reached across the bed towards her but his hand fell on worn sheets.
He bolted upright. The boat lulled gently in the tide.
A single cup of tea sat on the counter by the sink. And a packet of his favourite cigarettes.
Lighting one he blew grey smoke around his tiny cabin. He loosed a slow sad chuckle. She was saying goodbye in the best way she knew how. Tempest, his beautiful gypsy woman of never-ending horizons was gone.
He sipped his tea. Cold from waiting too long.
99 words
Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by leader Rochelle. The challenge is to write a story in 100 words or less.
Click on the blue frog to read more cool flash fiction.
‘ cold from waiting too long’ . So sad yet so beautiful. I loved the Gypsy woman’s name and that she was a ‘never ending horizon’.
Beautifully written tale.
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There’s a little of that never-ending horizons in each of us, I imagine. Thank you, Moon.
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Cold tea and cigarettes – what a wonderful image of parting
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Turned out to be quite evocative. Thank you, Neil 😊
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Wonderfully created and crafted story, love the way how you work with words.
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I’m pleased you connected with the story, Cecilia. And thank you for your kind feedback. Made my day!
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Great atmosphere, I imagine him waiting there and Tempest breezing back one day unannounced in a few years time.
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She’s definitely like the wind and it would be just like her to do just that. Viggo might have moved on though.
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Sad story but beautifully told! I loved how you described her as a woman of ‘never-ending horizons’.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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That phrase seems to appeal to the free spirit in all of us. Thank you, Susan.
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I love this… and now, for some strange reason, have the song by Rufus Wainwright “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”
This was beautifully done, Fatima
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I’d need to look up that song. Glad you connected with the story. Thanks, Dale
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😀
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This story painted great images, I really enjoyed it..
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The imagery turned out to be quite evocative. Glad you enjoyed, Michael 😊
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if she ever comes back, i’m sure she’d know where to find him. 🙂
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She might just breeze back into his life again . But perhaps he’d have moved on.
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really well done – felt like much more than 100 words here –
and i felt the coldness of the tea and his being left – while it also seemed he understood – 🙂
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He definitely understood. Her free spirited ways was the what he loved about her. Yet it’s the very quality that keeps them apart. Thank you for your awesome feedback too 😊
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Such a bittersweet piece. Excellent Fatima
Click to read my 100 Word Story!
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Thank you, Keith 😊
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Beautiful imagery. Loved the primal spirit of this tale.
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A lovely way to say goodbye.
I wish all breakups turned out this way.
Nicely done.
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Thank you, Kwadwo. 😊
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Goodbye by absence… that one must be hard to bear.
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Must feel like a punch in the gut!
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One assumes there will be another meeting—and that he is resigned. Good story.
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It would be just like her to arrive unannounced one day. Thank you 😊
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Dear Fatima,
Atmospheric and emotionally evocative. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle 😊😊
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I love that story, Fatima. You’ve crafted it beautifully. The emotions you evoke are completely believable and honest. The image of the cigarettes and cold tea is very powerful.
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Thank you, Penny. I truly appreciate your feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed it 😊
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Fatima,
Excellent use of language in this one. I’d like to pick out my favorite sentence but I’d have to cut and paste the whole thing. You do so much with just a few words. This story reads almost like a haiku that builds and then releases to me. Very well done.
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Hi Anne, your words have touched my writer’s heart and I’m feeling so encouraged. Thank you for your affirmation of my story! I’m thrilled you connected with the story too.
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Awesome blog you have herre
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