PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Wayne Fields
“C’mon! It will be worth it.”
“This was a bad idea, Dawn.”
“Oh stop your moaning. Just a few more steps.”
Robert screwed up his eyes against the morning sun, “It’s at least half a kilometre up! You’re going to kill me.”
Dawn trod easily over the rocks. Behind her, he watched the muscles flex in her calves.
At the top of the hill they looked out across the spreading desert glowing a pinkish-orange from the rising sun.
“What did I tell you? Isn’t it beautiful?”
Watching her face, his breath caught by the wind, he whispered, “It sure is.”
100 words
Written for Friday Ficitioneers where the challenge is to write a story in 100 words or less, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click the blue frog to read more flash fiction.
Thanks to Jan Wayne Fields for providing this week’s prompt.
You put us right there on the mountain with them. The dialogue was spot on.
One suggestion – either change the title to Desert Sunset or the text to read “morning sun.”
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Thanks for the suggestion, Russell. Desert Dawn refers to the woman in the story. But I changed the time of day in the story from sunset to sunrise to make it more coherent. Better?
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Ah, I guess I wasn’t smart enough to pick up on the girl’s name from the title (probably due to the lobotomy 🙂 ). I do like the change.
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😄 me too. I think it works better
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Worth all that effort 🙂
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Robert seems to think so 🙂
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He he – how many times has a man done something he didn’t want to do for the sake of a woman! Great story, Fatima.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Happens every day! Women do it too. Thank you, Susan. Glad you liked it.
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I remember being dragged up a mountain in just such a way.
Two years later it erupted.
What can I tell you?
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Did the mountain erupt or the romance? 🙂
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The mountain
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Oh wow! Maybe you should stop hiking up mountains…
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The things we do for love! 🙂
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The crazy things, indeed.
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Dear Fatima,
Ah what the love of a woman will make a man do. Lovely scene and wonderful dialogue.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Love has it’s own endless energy. Thank you, Rochelle. I’m trying to use more dialogue these days so I appreciate the awesome feedback.
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Let’s hope he can keep up with her other activities too!
Small point – at the start you have put ‘Dawn tread’ when I think you mean ‘trod’.
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Oh dear! Missed that one. Thanks for the heads up, Liz. I think Robert will do anything to be with her. 🙂
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I love the way you make it clear from Robert’s reaction to what he saw in Dawn’s face that she was having a transcendent experience as she watched the light of the rising sun spreading across the desert. What a lovely moment to share!
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It is a beautiful moment and one I think Robert will treasure. While she was having her own experience, he was having a similar transcendent moment watching her in her natural beauty. Thank you, Penny.
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Glad he made it. She converted him. I love that.
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I’m not sure he is quite converted on the hiking part. 😉
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Sweet tale.
I guess we all climb mountains, literal or metaphorical, for those we love.
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How true! Loved that insight into my story.
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Love conquers all 🙂
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Yes even our dislike for some activities 🙂
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So romantic. Beautiful.
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Thank you, Lisa!
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Confirmation that every difficult journey in life has just rewards.
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The most difficult journies lead to the most beautiful destinations, it’s true! Thank you, James.
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That was simply lovely, Fatima. I love how they are each looking at what they consider beautiful…
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A very romantic story – i just can’t help hoping in her exuberance of the moment she doesnt fail to notice his expression 🙂
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Lovely description and atmosphere
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I love it… the wonder we can see, I hope that he sees the beauty beyond her face at that moment.
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My goodness, this could be a movie! Really great! Nan
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Beautifully done.
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Honoured to have your appreciation 🙂
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Beauty has many differing forms, interesting story.
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